Trust and Obey

Being a good Baptist, I have sung this hymn for most of my life, even at the points when I was definitely not obeying and trust was no existent. However, during the current phase of my life, I feel as though I am living into this song a little bit more deeply. It is not simply enough to trust and it's so often confusing just to obey, the tension of our Christian struggle is to live in faith between the two, being humble enough to remain in that tension until we are called to a new one.

As a community we had seized to live in that tension for a wee bit. Posts like the previous one demonstrate that we were definitely rejoicing in God's providence and his faithfulness, becoming preemptively content before our time. Our meeting yesterday was... confusing, in a word. God's presence was there very strongly and we had a chance to stand in awe once again at the places that he had brought us from and the amazing work he has already done. We were able to meet an amazing woman of God and share in her joys and dreams about community. We felt so encouraged and supported by our mentor and his presence and leadership was such a needed blessing in a delicate moment. We were asked difficult questions and gave answers that accurately portrayed our community, glorifying the way God has made us. By the end of the meeting we had all seen God and his presence was undeniable, but we were on two different pages of the 'co-habitation' (a term we have slowly come to despise) issue, staring at each across a valley of disbelief and confusion.

We left the meeting, not on bad terms, but wounded and confused. We have experienced every single emotion it seems like; anger, pain, joy, hope, confusion, exhaustion, fear, and peace.

Right now we are at a good place. We rejoice fully in God's perfect plan for us even though we are in pain. We have hope beyond this moment that he will provide for our needs, even though we were moderately discouraged. We see the clock of August ticking down but we have faith in an eternal God who provides all things in his perfect timing. And we are learning to trust again, because, right now, it is the only thing we have. Our flesh tells us to fear homelessness and deadlines and failure but the Spirit provides peace and comfort beyond our understanding. We have realized that everything in this journey is secondary to our pursuit of God, a house doesn't matter and all of the bowls and towels mean nothing. We will forever be homeless because we are the body of Christ and we are too large to fit into a house. We were able to see the community of believers that he has weaved together across the nation, from New York to Philadelphia to Indianapolis to Colorado Springs to southern California and here. God is good and we are called to live in response to him, a task that is confusing right now but our ultimate joy.

Thank you for your prayers, they move mountains and build houses. We are so thankful for everyone who has been with us on this journey and we are so blessed to be in this journey together with you. We could definitely use prayer and encouragement right now for the next step and any points of wisdom would be so greatly appreciated. We in awe of the things that God is doing and we are amazed that we get to experience them with you.

To God be all honor and glory and power forever and ever. Amen.